The Worst Practice is the Best

I haven't been practicing.

If I spent the time practicing that I spend trying to convince myself to practice, I would have finished my Ngondro by now!

Sometimes I actually do manage to stop myself from talking myself out of practicing. During those practice sessions, I continue the internal argument about how I should keep practicing and not stop. Each prostration feels like one of those dreams where you are trying to run away from something really scary but you can barely move your legs. It takes me 3 times as long to get them done.

When I'm doing other things, I'm wondering what the heck is with my mental block about practicing.

I guess it's a purification. Maybe a big one. Maybe if I can overcome this obstacle of myself, well, maybe that's what practice is all about.

Maybe those practice sessions which are 100% struggle and 0% inspiration are the most beneficial ones.

After all, if it were easy.... Michael Dell said that he learned little from his company's successes. He learned much more from his failures.