A Practice that Works

If we don't have a practice that works, that we can call upon in the midst of our desire, anger and frustration, ignorance, pride, and jealousy then we will act on them. We won't be able to see the suffering of the other person.

Rinpoche sometimes talks about a wonderful man he knew who was always very fair in his dealings with everyone. But also, he wasn't a pushover and he never let anyone cheat him.

Sometimes when we see the suffering of another clearly, a side effect is that we see how, in their pain, they try to manipulate you to ease their pain.

I think the seed of wisdom is seeing all this and understanding how to help them best.

My Mother-In-Law is here for Thanksgiving so I'm getting a lot of chances to put my practice into action!

I'm failing miserably, but I am doing much better than I used to. I'm also starting to see some of her good qualities.

When I started my practice this am, my negative emotions got washed away.

Better late than never :-)

I'll try to do better today.

I am a Buddhist Practitioner

I used to be an IT geek in Silicon Valley, the pinnacle of geekdom. I considered myself cooler and smarter than the normal humans. But that was OK because we were doing stuff to make work easier and move society towards a better future where everyone can be themselves and do what they want because they would be liberated and empowered by technology. The job was "the very definition of my being" as Lev Yilmaz says in this deadpan funny video.

Then I got a job with my Buddhist group. It didn't pay much, but that was OK because I figured out that Buddhism was really the way to move society towards a better future where everyone can be themselves and do what they want because they would be liberated and empowered by the Buddhist teachings. The job became the very definition of my being.

Now I'm learning how to become a day trader which, in a lot of ways, is even More Elite and Even Cooler than being a Silicon Valley geek. Learning how to day trade is much more time consuming, demanding, and costly than I thought and it's becoming the very definition of my being.

There's something interesting about day trading though. The more you grasp onto it and let your emotions, such as greed and desire, anger, ignorance, pride, and jealousy, rule you, the more money you lose. If you let hope and fear rule you, you will lose money, and lots of it. This is great, because I realized a few jobs ago that I didn't want my job to be the very definition of my being, but I couldn't stop myself from doing that because it seems that I need something to identify with to justify my existence.

Here's my new identity: I am a Buddhist Practitioner.

If I can't renounce grasping onto some kind of ego, I figure a healthy replacement behavior is a good interim solution.

What does being a Buddhist Practitioner mean?

It means that I practice the Buddhist teachings in order to crack my heart open to let it's love and wisdom pour forth. It's a lot of work, but I realized that in order to more society forward towards a better future, we have to change ourselves and no one can change ourselves for us.

Becoming a Good Christian

I want to be like those good Christians. You know the ones. They are so gentle, kind, and humble. They are incapable of hurting a fly. They are good through and through.

I've been wrestling with my ego by myself, and my ego's been winning. In desperation, I prayed to the lama, buddhas, and bodhisattvas and they helped me. Then I realized that I don't have to go it alone (big DUH!). In fact, it's impossible to conquer your own ego by yourself. While doing my Refuge practice, I realized that those good Christians are that way through the grace of God, and that I, too, can become like them through the blessings of the lama, the buddha, the dharma, and the noble sangha.

Those good Christians practice being in the grace of God throughout the day, throughout their lives. Maybe if I continue to practice Refuge in this way after I'm done with my accumulations, I can eventually become like them.

Right now, however, I'm like Scarlett O'Hara who really wants to be a great lady like her mother was, but she hasn't got time to be one. Right now she has to run the lumber mills and carry a gun. HAHA!!!