I am a Buddhist Practitioner

I used to be an IT geek in Silicon Valley, the pinnacle of geekdom. I considered myself cooler and smarter than the normal humans. But that was OK because we were doing stuff to make work easier and move society towards a better future where everyone can be themselves and do what they want because they would be liberated and empowered by technology. The job was "the very definition of my being" as Lev Yilmaz says in this deadpan funny video.

Then I got a job with my Buddhist group. It didn't pay much, but that was OK because I figured out that Buddhism was really the way to move society towards a better future where everyone can be themselves and do what they want because they would be liberated and empowered by the Buddhist teachings. The job became the very definition of my being.

Now I'm learning how to become a day trader which, in a lot of ways, is even More Elite and Even Cooler than being a Silicon Valley geek. Learning how to day trade is much more time consuming, demanding, and costly than I thought and it's becoming the very definition of my being.

There's something interesting about day trading though. The more you grasp onto it and let your emotions, such as greed and desire, anger, ignorance, pride, and jealousy, rule you, the more money you lose. If you let hope and fear rule you, you will lose money, and lots of it. This is great, because I realized a few jobs ago that I didn't want my job to be the very definition of my being, but I couldn't stop myself from doing that because it seems that I need something to identify with to justify my existence.

Here's my new identity: I am a Buddhist Practitioner.

If I can't renounce grasping onto some kind of ego, I figure a healthy replacement behavior is a good interim solution.

What does being a Buddhist Practitioner mean?

It means that I practice the Buddhist teachings in order to crack my heart open to let it's love and wisdom pour forth. It's a lot of work, but I realized that in order to more society forward towards a better future, we have to change ourselves and no one can change ourselves for us.